to the end of the age

I've been asked on several occasions in life to share my testimony, be it for a job or for a class, and I always find this a difficult thing to do. For starters, it's always changing! As I move on in life I look back and realize the impact that certain events had on my faith. Also... I want my testimony to have a clean cut happy ending, but my life isn't over yet! God is still adding to my testimony!

One of my favorite scriptures came to mind tonight- The Great Commission. And I absolutely love the wording from The Voice:

"Go out and make disciples in all the nations. Ceremonially wash them through baptism in the name of the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then disciple them. Form them in the practices and postures that I have taught you, and show them how to follow the commands I have laid down for you. And I will be with you, day after day, to the end of the age." 

      ~ Matthew 28:19-20

This passage, essentially speaks my testimony. I was discipled by my parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, and other leaders at my home congregation. I confessed Christ was Lord and that he died for me, and I wanted an eternal life with him. I knew that without Christ, I'd be bound to sin... so I repented with assurance that His grace had been and would continue to be shown to me. I was baptized on a hot Oklahoma evening in a swimming pool by one of my most respected elders, surrounded by singing peers. I've had a lot to learn about how to follow the Lord. I'm still learning. But the wonderful truth (and ending to my story) is this: God will be with me always... day after day.

I was baptized young, just going into the 6th grade. I hadn't messed up much, hadn't turned into an awful teenager just yet. But I still had a desire to serve the Lord and live for Him. Looking back, I feel like God has helped me through so much. I've been learning the whole time. Growing the whole time. Learning how to accept Christ and truly allowing Him to dwell in your heart isn't an easy task. It takes a lot of growing pains!

I've learned (and not just head knowledge learned... but truly been convicted) that hardship doesn't mean God is far. He is near through the good and the bad. I don't ever want to go back to the past. I want to only go forward, growing closer to the Lord with each passing year.

I love Matt Redmond's song, "You Never Let Go". God is with us- and he isn't letting go of us! He loves us! Someday, our life will have no problems and we will praise our Father in Heaven. But until then, we still will praise Him because He has bestowed His grace on us and offered us salvation- and that salvation means He will NEVER let go of us! It all starts on the day you allow Him to embrace you and it continues day after day.

If you've got some more internet browsing to do, listen to this song! You all know it, but take a moment to bask in the wonderful news that God will never let go of us! It'll make your day a little more hopeful!

Click here to listen to Never Let Go!

"who can laugh at the days to come"

It is with great joy that I write tonight! There is something about Monday night bible study that fires me up with the passion to write about everything that's been on my heart that past week. In this case, the last few weeks.

I've been thinking about the "Proverbs 31 Wife" ~ "She can laugh at the days to come." (vs. 25)

Girls, that has NOT been me. I want to get real with you and tell you that anxiety has been ALIVE and PRESENT in my life. It's been such a huge part of me recently, that it's caused me to wallow, complain, cry, get angry, get lazy, spend money.... everything. If anything is a threat to a joyful Christian spirit, it's anxiety. 

A sweet Sister-in-Christ said something very eye-opening to me. "There is pain when you choose to think about a problem, but there is also pain when you try to let it go."

So I began to think about that. Why is there pain when you try to let something go? How come I can't just put it aside and be happy? (If you are a black and white person like my husband, you might not understand what I'm talking about. You either choose to be happy or choose to be sad.... right? Well I'm sincerely happy that it's easy for you! For those of us who can only see gray... this can be a huge battle!)

Here is what I read: "Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope!... Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in Heaven."
~ Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Hmm... maybe the pain comes from putting our hope in solutions. We want to fix everything, you know? Maybe we're putting our hope in the American spirit that inspires us to chase our dreams and pursue a better life. Maybe we're putting our hope in being able to help a loved one. Maybe we are putting our hope in our abilities to fight and stay strong through a battle.

Jesus said in John 16:33: "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Another reading in Jesus Calling said this: "Trust is a golden pathway to Heaven. When you walk on this path, you live above your circumstances."

Trust the Lord. OK? I've heard that all my life. We need to trust in God... He will take care of us. Sisters, those words can be SO powerful, if we can just find it in us to really do what we are saying.

Beth Moore says that thanks is not the same thing as trust. Sometimes after something amazing happens we go to God out of gratitude and say that we trust Him, or feel that we trust Him. But that is NOT the same thing as trusting God before the work happens... or when the work doesn't happen.

Isaiah 30: 18 reads: Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him." 

Putting our hope in God means to trust God. To trust God means to wait for Him.

God has promised us that this world will be full of troubles, but when we learn to depend on Him and not solutions, we can see that God offers us peace through the storms. Peace doesn't come from our problems being solved. Peace doesn't come through miracles. Peace comes from trusting in Him all along- through waiting on Him. Trusting that His will and His timing are perfect. Even when things don't turn out as we hope, even when things seem awful- we must let the hope of Heaven give us strength. Trusting that life in Heaven will be problem-free regardless of what we face on earth. 

I want to leave you with one of my favorite songs. We sang it on Sunday and the words couldn't have come to me at a better time. The big line is, "My hope is in you Lord all the day long. I won't be shaken by drought or storm. The peace the passes understanding is my song, and I sing, I trust in you alone."

Even if you know the song and have heard it 100 times, watch the music video. It's such an inspiring story. It really captures the idea of putting our trust in eternity, where life will be perfect... because life on earth is everything but.
My Hope is in You by Aaron Shust VIDEO

I hope with all of my heart that this encourages you. Take a leap of hope my friends! Let's be that "Proverbs 31 Lady" who can laugh at the days to come!

~ Wishing you many many blessings ~
K. Marie

enough

The holidays have come and gone, bowl games have been watched, the last of the goodies and fattening food has been devoured, decorations put away, resolutions set, weight watchers membership rejoined, back to work. Yup... and so life begins in 2013. 

Over the holidays I revisited my interest in cross stitching. I got me a BRIGHT task lamp and picked out a pattern that says "It's all about the journey" on it. Little did I know how much that little phrase would mean to me. 

As I've been applying myself more to weight loss, that phrase has continued to pop into my mind, almost like God whispering it to me. I have a tendency to look forward to the future a little too much. In college I couldn't wait to be out of school, married with kids. I really didn't care at all about the in between. And in reality that made me miss out on so much. The same can be true for goals that I make for myself... I become fixated on the goal.. where I see myself... and in the end I destroy my self esteem and feel that I am worthless unless they are acheived. I miss out because I'm so miserable... and usually it destroys my efforts. 

But as I focus on KIND this year, the spirit has been revealing to me that I need to be kind to myself. I need to be kind to the life that God's blessed me with, and the be kind to the opportunities he puts before me. 

As I was working on my bible study (on Esther) this morning, it became even more clear to me. It discussed Haman and how he was so fixated on the one thing he couldn't have (the crown itself) and in the end it destroyed him. This had me thinking all day.... wow. 

I get so fixated on where I want to be in life...kids, being skinny, feeling fulfilled, that I might be destroying myself. 

Click HERE to hear the song I'm talking about!

Tonight I was listening to my Chris Tomlin CD (Please watch the attached video! It's such a great song!) that I found when we were rearranging furniture. I heard one of my favorite songs :More than Enough: and I thought to myself, "how perfect!"

"God you truly are more than enough. All the other things I want would be great, but if I don't get them, it's OK... because YOU are all I need."

I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Cool Runnings: "If you aren't enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

God makes me enough without all those things I want. With or without the skinny body, the kids, the house, the fulfilling and passionate job - I am enough. I am enough because Christ has covered my sin and God sent his spirit to dwell in me until I dwell with him in Heaven. 

So I as I start 2013 with the focus to be KIND.... 

I will be kind to myself... because with God, I am enough.  

"Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God."

~ 1 Peter 2:10a~ 

* Side note... I'm sure I've blogged on this song before. It's a powerful song. It speaks to me every single time I listen to it. I hope it moves you too. 

KIND

You might have already seen that my word for 2013 is KIND.

When I think of kindness I almost always think, "Love is patient Love is kind". I guess you could say that I always think of patience and kindness together and in a way that's not too far off! Authentic patience comes out of authentic kindness.

So what else might come out of authentic kindness?

- encouragement
- being truly happy for someone
- not repaying evil for evil
- understanding
- friendship
- LOVE
- help
- support

I could go on and on and on. No doubt kindness is one of those fruits of the spirit that have a lot of seeds in them! There is a lot to reap from kindness.

My focus (as I focus on KIND) will be WWJD. Because Christ's spirit is inside me, I want his spirit to flow out of me, so I will be praying that God will reveal to me what Jesus would do... how Jesus would be kind.

It's like the old Aggies for Christ skit.... Focus Focus Focus Focus Focus Focus Focus ON ME!!! There is so much out there in the world screaming for our focus. But a focus on Christ will be what sets me free.

I wish I could find a video of it so that I could share it but I can't. Basically there is a person and all of a sudden different people start coming around her saying Focus. Focus. Focus. ON ME or ON HIM or ON HER... or whatever it is.... and you hear all these people screaming for your attention and finally you hear a focus on Christ and the skit takes a turning point. I haven't seen it in a long time so I don't remember exactly how it goes... but that's what keeps ringing in my head as I set out this year to focus on KIND.

I think to myself... "Focus on Christ."


~ May there be many blessings your way ~

the thing about JOY

As I stood in front of the mirror this afternoon in my bath robe, the water just beginning to dry in my hair, I picked up my brush. My hair sat damp, with a mess of tangles, just as it always does after a shower. There is only one way to get those pesky tangles out. 

 I can't part my hair or dry it until the tangles have been removed. If I start to brush my hair from the top, which seems the natural way to brush one's hair, then the tangles would only get worse. No, I must patiently begin with short and gentle strokes at the bottom of my hair. Once the ends have been smoothed, I can work my way to the top of my head with larger strokes and eventually the brush will glide smoothly through my hair, allowing me to make the part and dry it. 

I began the year 2012 with the ambition of focusing on JOY and finding more of it in my life. JOY is a fruit of the spirit. Which means that it is not something you simply command to be. I can't tell myself, "Kristin, be joyful right now!" and expect authentic joy to come forth. It must be produced through growth and nutrition. JOY is not a fruit of self; however, it is a fruit of the spirit. The spirit of Christ Jesus. 

Just as a granny smith apple (my favorite fruit by the way!) is the fruit of a granny smith apple tree, JOY is the fruit of Jesus' spirit. It is what's produced when the spirit of Jesus is living in us, controlling us, and having his way with us. 

Just as I cannot fix my hair after a shower without taking care of the tangles I cannot have JOY without Christ's spirit living in me and taking care of my sinful human nature. I cannot remove the tangles of my hair without starting at the bottom and working my way through them. The spirit cannot live in me and make me pure unless I grant Him access and permission, and willingly let Him nourish me and control me. When I let Him begin to work through the tangles He'll smooth things out in my heart so that true JOY may be produced. 

That is what my conclusion is on this year's end. 

Even though I've been saved for many years, I'm still continually learning new things about what that means. Even though I've let Christ in, I long to let Him stay and for Him to make known His presence in me every day. His fruits are one way that I can know that He's near. 

The way to have JOY, or any fruit of the spirit is to allow Christ to control you. Only then will his fruit be produced. And praise God for graciously offering us the gift of His spirit! 

"The Holy Spirit produces a different kind of fruit: unconditional love, joy, peace, patience, kindheartedness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. You won't find any law opposed to fruit like this. Those of us who belong to the Anointed One have crucified our old lives and put to death the flesh and all the lusts and desires that plague us. 

Now since we have chosen to walk with the Spirit, let's keep each step in perfect sync with God's Spirit. This will happen when we set aside our self-interests and work together to create true community instead of a culture consumed  by provocation, pride, and envy." 

~ Galations 5:22-26 The Voice

~ Wishing you much JOY this next year! Happy New Year's! ~

awesome

"God is AWESOME!"

I'm pretty sure that I don't say that near enough. In fact, even if I said it all day long, it wouldn't be enough! But regardless, there is definitely a feeling of God's presence when you

 bask in His "awesomeness"!

I learned another lesson about JOY (my word for 2012) recently. As with all of my lessons learned, it's something I've always known as "head knowledge" but I really hadn't understood

 and felt convicted of it. 

As kids, we learn that it's good to make plans. I remember as a senior in high school, how daunting it was when we had to make 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year plans for ourselves. And guess what! 

NONE of those plans were put into action! Last year I would think on those plans and feel disappointment and grief. I'm not anywhere close to the person I set out to be. 

So, how does JOY fit into this, you might be wondering. Here is the big secret... it doesn't!

Plans that we make for ourselves set us up for disappointment, grief, stress, pressure, and unhappiness. 

This, I have learned first hand. 

I've discovered that one of the greatest keys to JOY is to allow yourself to be open to the will of God, and acknowledging His blessings along the way. When we are open to His plan over our own, the pressure is lifted and our mind has been cleared so that we can see His blessings. 

So I'm going to do my best to not stress over not knowing what is to come. 

I will be thankful for what already has!

If you have a couple of minutes watch this video and bask in the thought that GOD IS AWESOME! That's the one thing that really matters in our life! 

This video brings me back to soulful worship nights at church camp and loud and powerful youth rallies. Listen... think about it.... lift your hands to the Lord! 

Awesome God by ChurchofChrist24

I'm going to end this post as my daddy would so often do:

Because God is Awesome,

K. Jesch

not without effect

Have you ever felt a friend drifting away from you and then thought to yourself, "If they are not making an effort to see me, then why should I make an effort to see them? They must not want to see me very much anyways!"? Let's just say I've been around too many girls to think that I'm the only one who's had this thought cross her mind! 

It's probably a good thing that Christ was a male and not a female... because heavens, can us gals hold some grudges! 

Tonight, I'm at a place where I'm just amazed. Amazed at God's grace. 

I'm amazed that I can live selfishly as I often do, and that God still takes me when I seek Him. The fact that God still desires me even when I'm not always making an effort is beyond incredible to me. How powerful and yet merciful He must be to take me even when I'm selfish beyond measure. 

I'm reminded of Paul's words to the Corinthians:

"For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect."

~ 1 Corinthians 15: 9-10 ~

That is perhaps one of my favorite scriptures, if not my absolute favorite scripture. My favorite part is, "and his grace to me was not without effect." 

Because God's grace has HUGE effect on me... it changes me, it motivates me, it humbles me, it encourages me, it amazes me. 

To be able to be reminded of God's grace is a blessing. When I sit and meditate on it, I'm brought to tears almost every time. 

When I first began this post, I had the intentions of sharing the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, "Mighty to Save". But another song has been brought to my heart tonight. It's an old song, but the message rings clear: Oh how marvelous is my Savior's love for me. 

I absolutely love Christ Tomlin's arraignment of this song. It's slow and really allows you to reflect on the power of the words being sung. I hope you'll take 7 minutes to watch the video and hear this song. Please, take this sort time to reflect and meditate on God's amazing grace that flows from his amazing love. 

Remind yourself often of his love so that his grace is not without effect! 

Click HERE to view the video of the song!!!

Many blessings your way!

~Kristin Marie