Anyways... weeks like this one... the ones where you had such high hopes of everything going so perfectly... it's such a bummer when things don't go as you planned! I've learned not to stress over it though, to just relax and try to enjoy the ride.
Yes, it's true not every moment of parenthood is blissful and one you want to treasure always. For example....
The mess seems to abound always and chores, phone calls, books... all get forgotten about.
When she wakes up at 5:30 AM, and then only naps for an hour during the day I feel weary. When she throws her yogurt on the floor it about does me in.
Make no mistake, often parenthood seems to feel like this:
But it's OK. You know why?
Because of this....
When she wakes up early and can't wait to be with me... that's what makes it OK. One day I'll be longing for her to want to wake up and spend a Saturday with me instead of her friends. I love her favorite place to be is in my lap. When I'm sitting on the couch and she comes over saying, "up!"- that's a moment to savor. When she brings over a book and says, "eead" (read)- that's a moment to treasure. When she takes me by the finger and pulls me over to the snack cabinet and says, "eease" (please)- that's a moment to remember. My baby girl loves me.
As I watch her dance, sing, and giggle with her daddy to praise and worship music videos- those are images stamped on my heart.
Seeing her try new things, like going down the frog slide at the pool or roaming in the grass barefoot, it just excites me.
When she gives me a hug while we're walking down the lane at Wal-Mart.
Watching her enjoy others at church. Holding their fingers, leading them on walks. Happy in Bible Class when we pick her up. Excited to hear the singing during worship service.
Putting her hands together to pray before each meal.
Or I'll look over and see her imaginative and purposeful play develop. Listening to her say the animal sounds or copy their movements. Helping her sort by colors. Watching her little toes learn to walk faster. Seeing her delight as she figures out how to fit the shapes into the puzzle.
Oh, you should see the happiness it gives her daddy and me.
Who am I to be loved by this sweet little girl? What have I done to deserve the happiness she brings me. I have about 1000 insecurities and short comings but in her innocence she doesn't see any of them. She sees me- her momma- whom she depends on and loves.
This little girl is one of the greatest sources of joy and love I've ever known. Scripture tells us to dwell on what is good and praiseworthy. I don't want to get bogged down with all of the challenges this season of life brings me. Years from now, when I look back, I want to remember these good moments so I must be intentional about noticing them. Years from now, I don't want to remember myself as a frazzled momma who was overwhelmed with trying to do it all.
I want to remember that with every ounce of breath in me, I embraced the journey of motherhood.