Tuesday, March 27, 2012

joy in the midst of quiet

Spring Break was filled with many wonderful things, but something sad happened as well. It was something that made me want to wallow up in tears and have anger at the world. It was a utter disaster. Are you ready for me to tell you what happened?

My CD player/ radio in my car died.

That's right... it died. It plays no longer. My drives are silent. I have no music. My life is but a dark and empty cave. It is gray, there is no color. It reminds me of a song I sang in choir my senior year of high school. 

"I dreamed a dream. A silent dream. Of a land not far away. Where no birds sang. No steeples rang. And tear drops fell like rain." (It's talking of a land with no music... in case you missed that)

All right... so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. But I'm the girl that can't stand to go anywhere without the radio on... or a CD playing. My parents are the same way... always had music playing in the car... and we jammed to it loud. Music in the car---- that's my thing. 

And now I have none. 

Remember how I said that I was getting into listening to Christian music? I miss doing that. I tried singing songs myself... but it wasn't the same thing! 

Then I remember the Lord gives and takes away...but blessed be the name. I need to be joyful. That's my goal this year. To be joyful in all things. 

So I started praying during my driving time. Outloud. No Shame. It's pretty therapeutic actually. It's like I have a moment to think clearly and pray about things on my heart. Maybe God was trying to tell me that I needed to talk to Him more. 

My drives can still be boring, and no doubt my 5 min drive to work feels like 15 min. I'm finding joy in praying to God during that time. 

So if you see a gal talking to herself as she's driving her old beat up Ford.... it's probably me. And I'm trying to create the joy! 

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