Over the holidays I revisited my interest in cross stitching. I got me a BRIGHT task lamp and picked out a pattern that says "It's all about the journey" on it. Little did I know how much that little phrase would mean to me.
As I've been applying myself more to weight loss, that phrase has continued to pop into my mind, almost like God whispering it to me. I have a tendency to look forward to the future a little too much. In college I couldn't wait to be out of school, married with kids. I really didn't care at all about the in between. And in reality that made me miss out on so much. The same can be true for goals that I make for myself... I become fixated on the goal.. where I see myself... and in the end I destroy my self esteem and feel that I am worthless unless they are acheived. I miss out because I'm so miserable... and usually it destroys my efforts.
But as I focus on KIND this year, the spirit has been revealing to me that I need to be kind to myself. I need to be kind to the life that God's blessed me with, and the be kind to the opportunities he puts before me.
As I was working on my bible study (on Esther) this morning, it became even more clear to me. It discussed Haman and how he was so fixated on the one thing he couldn't have (the crown itself) and in the end it destroyed him. This had me thinking all day.... wow.
I get so fixated on where I want to be in life...kids, being skinny, feeling fulfilled, that I might be destroying myself.
Tonight I was listening to my Chris Tomlin CD (Please watch the attached video! It's such a great song!) that I found when we were rearranging furniture. I heard one of my favorite songs :More than Enough: and I thought to myself, "how perfect!"
"God you truly are more than enough. All the other things I want would be great, but if I don't get them, it's OK... because YOU are all I need."
I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Cool Runnings: "If you aren't enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."
God makes me enough without all those things I want. With or without the skinny body, the kids, the house, the fulfilling and passionate job - I am enough. I am enough because Christ has covered my sin and God sent his spirit to dwell in me until I dwell with him in Heaven.
So I as I start 2013 with the focus to be KIND....
I will be kind to myself... because with God, I am enough.
"Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God."
~ 1 Peter 2:10a~
* Side note... I'm sure I've blogged on this song before. It's a powerful song. It speaks to me every single time I listen to it. I hope it moves you too.