Thursday, September 3, 2015

grace for myself

Dinner is done and Blake and I start to negotiate what comes next.

"You watch Kate, and I'll clean up dinner" both of us wishing we could just relax with Hulu. I go to the floor with  Kate and try to keep her busy. I notice the spots on the floor. I meant to clean the floors today... I'm so lazy.  

We pull Kate from the bath later that evening and I realize there are no clean pajamas left. How did I forget to wash her laundry again... I'm a bad mom. 

As I'm nursing her to sleep I scroll through pinterest where I see an article posted about how a mom feeds her family of 6 for $200 a month. I wish I managed my money that well... I'm not a good wife. 

These are just little moments of insecurity. My day is often full of them, from the way I look, to the things I (don't) accomplish each day. And it can cause me to feel bad and insult myself over and over again. 

I need grace for myself. 

Can I try to look at myself through God's eyes of grace?

"How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!" ~ Psalm 84:1

"Or do you not realize about yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you?" - 2 Corinthians 13:5

In Beth Moore's book "So Long Insecurity" she challenged women to quote Psalm 84:1 in the mirror every morning when they woke up. Rather than seeing ourselves for all of our flaws, we should see ourselves as the vessel that we are for Christ. We are lovely because Christ lives in us.

That's grace. 

It's OK if I fail to measure up, because Christ lives in me and he covers me. This year, as I've been focusing on grace, I've come to realize that it's OK to acknowledge my shortcomings, but I mustn't let them define me.  

Grace doesn't mean that I make excuses for myself. No, not at all. Having grace for myself means that even though I mess up, I will continue to value myself as a daughter of Jesus Christ.

The good news is that when there is less of me, there is more of HIM. The most beautiful part about grace is that through it God's spirit will shine all the brighter!

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