Saturday, August 7, 2010

a matter of the heart

There are always many different things I feel like blogging about. This week I've decided to take a turn from the "susie homemaker" style topics and discuss a matter of the heart. Before I get into it though, I'd like to say again that I'm sorry for any grammar or spelling errors you might come across. I'm awful in both categories! Growing up I had a little bit of Romona Quimby in me, and still do today. So if you do see something that is just embarrassingly wrong please tell me cause I'll remember better if do! But other than that, please just excuse me : )

So on with today's blog. It will be sort of long and I'm sorry because I don't know what to cut out.

Blake and I both grew up at loving church congregations. Our whole families were both very involved and we felt like we knew everyone there. Our home congregations were considerably smaller than the huge one we've been attending, and try as we may, it just didn't feel like home. So we began our great church hunt this summer. I say great, but we really only looked at a couple, but it is great because it's taken all summer long and we have still not made up our mind. This isn't because we don't agree with how things are done, or because the song leader is off tune. I've narrowed it down to 2 main factors:

1. Our Age

You see, we are the generation of impersonal business. We would rather take care of just about anything online because it's easier. This feeds into our daily life because we are a less personal brand of people. So it's hard to meet people our own age because our generation just doesn't seem to talk to people at church very well. But I think there are other factors to this. This is a transitional time of life- finishing up college, or being fresh out, starting families, finding a career, finding a church home. Most young couple we see at church are trying to get adjusted just like we are. And it's just a weird time of life I've decided.

2. When you grew up most of your life in one congregation, nothing feels the same.

And nothing is the same because you don't know all the members the way you are used to. I could go on and on about this reason but I'm leaving it at that.

Through lots of prayer, we are beginning to see an end to this process (I hope). But it's taken quite a toll on me spiritually this summer. This is where the true subject of this blog begins. I was listening to one of my favorite songs by Ginny Owens this week called "I am nothing". I've always been inspired by this song, but at a different phase in life. A time when I would get so caught up in church service and leadership that I needed to remember God called me to something higher than that- love. And that if I wasn't loving, then all my services were worth nothing to the Lord.

This summer, I've been yearning to serve in church again, and do the things I've always loved to do such a teach bible classes and help plan children's events. I haven't been able to though because we were not committed to a congregation. In all of that frustration, I was allowing myself to fail spiritually because I wasn't able to serve God like I wanted to. I wasn't remembering that God has called me to something even greater than church work- love.

Church service is very important to help the Kingdom but it isn't everything. And if I'm not currently serving the church, I can still answer God's greatest calling by loving Him and loving others. I can love my Lord by spending more time in prayer and study and getting to know Him better. When I do that, I'll know how and have His power to help me love as He has called me to. This isn't to say that I shouldn't be seeking ways to serve the Church when we have placed membership. It's saying that that serving isn't the basis of the faith and I should not treat it as such.

This is what I thought about as I listened to the song this week. And it changed that way I've thought about this time in my life. I wish God would have brought me to this revelation sooner than he did but I know it probably wouldn't have been as meaningful. I know God does everything in His time and by His will.

I'd like to leave you with the lyrics to this song and a link to hear it on youtube. The only you tube video I could find of that song is someone's wedding slide show, and it's a little bit different the version of the song I listen to. It's still the same song though, and if you want want to hear it, it's there.

Hope yall have a great weekend.
As Always, Kristin Marie.

I am Nothing
Ginny Owens

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share Your story, bring You glory, and win souls for You.
AND I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, AND lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile SO warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday, lead the Choir and Bible Study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on Earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, THEY will not matter in the end-

CAUSE Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won't You make it clear to me,
THAT If I do not love, I am nothing.

AND If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived His life for me?

OH, Sent to Earth from Heaven,
Humble Servant, Holy King,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I'd deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

THAT Songs will fade to silence,
Stories they will cease,
The dust will settle covering ALL MY selfless deeds.
But Your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing

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