"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40: 30-31
The past few months I've found my heart to be heavy in self pity. I was approaching graduation, and though that brought great joy, the realization that I didn't have a job as a children's minister was lurking in my mind. These are some of the thoughts that often came to me:
"People will think I picked a bad major"
"Every one will think I wasted my time getting a degree I'm not using"
"Am I disappointing my parents after they've invested so much time money in my education?"
"I won't be representing the OC children's ministry program very well if I don't find a job as a children's minister"
These thoughts were like poison to me and I wallowed myself in agonizing self pity. I found a job as an assistant teacher at a child development center and I dreaded every morning I woke up. I was thankful to the Lord for helping me find a job, but I wasn't happy at all. I knew that my parents still loved me and that they were not disappointed. I knew it didn't matter what others thought. I knew it was important I got a degree. I could find little happiness though.
During this time, I'd been reminded to go back to God in prayer continuously. It is my greatest joy to be able to share with you what has been shown to me through my time with the Lord.
I've learned that all of my negativity wasn't coming from me it was coming from the evil one. Let me remind you that Satan can send some powerful negativity. That stuff is so powerful that if you are not on your guard you will be pulled under by it. That is what happened to me. I was unable to feel as close to God as I wanted to, because I was trapped under the heavy burden of self pity. When I finally remembered to draw to God I had instant results.
I've taken on a job at Southwest Covenant Christian School as the elementary lunch supervisor and the director of the after care. It sounds like a "thankless" job and in many ways is but I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to serve in this capacity. I am in such an encouraging environment that is full of optimism. What sticks out to me the most at SWCS, is the love of the Lord. All of the teachers and staff are constantly talking about how God is working in their life- it's in their casual conversation in the break room. It is so encouraging and I know that the Lord called me to work there because I needed that. I needed to be lifted up. I know that he also wanted me to find humility in a job of service. He wants me to serve at this school that is helping families to raise spiritual champions. I am right where he wants me to be.
I have my entire life to use my degree, and I must never loose sight as to why I chose to major in ministry. God gave me unique experiences as a daughter of ministers so that I might be able to do great things for the kingdom. That is why I majored in ministry- NOT so that I'd become a staffed children's minister. I wanted the education so that I would be able to take it with me where ever I go and serve my God where ever I have the opportunity to do so.
We will all face hard times, but it is only when we put all of our hope in the Lord that we will truly be lifted up. We must always be on our guard so that, with the help of the Lord we will always be able to fight the weight of the world. No matter what is weighing you down, the Lord will help you rise above if you trust in Him!
I want to share with you one the most inspiring songs in my life. It's called "Ready to Fly" and it's by FFH. This song has spoken to me for a long time. When I was in high school it reminded me of how I was ready to be on my own, now it speaks to me in a different way. When we stay in our sorrows and struggles we are grounded to the world. We are chained to Satan. But when we put our hope in the Lord he will give us the strength we need to rise above it all and sore with wings of eagles.
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