Monday, September 10, 2012

fit to follow

Eternal One: Before I even formed you
                      in your mother's womb,
                      I knew all about you.
                      Before you drew your first breath, I had already chosen you
                       to be My prophet to speak my word to the nations.

Jeremiah: Ah, Eternal Lord!
                 I'm too young and inexperienced to speak for You.

Eternal One: Don't use your youth as an excuse;
             you can and will go wherever I send you.
             You can and will say whatever I tell you to say.
             You have no reason to fear the people you speak to,
             for I am with you and will defend you.

- Jeremiah 1: 5-8 The Voice

My grandpa told me that when he went to college, the biggest lesson he learned was that he didn't know anything. At least... he said something like that.

I know exactly what he means. As a freshman going into college I thought I had all the answers, had the best methods, and knew the best theology. OK... so I didn't think I was the best, but I was pretty confident in myself.

Then I took exegeses.

Can I just say that any self confidence I still had at that point was completely and utterly destroyed! Jeremiah's words, "I'm too young and inexperienced to speak for You" most definitely were on my tongue.

Going to a Christian college challenges your faith on so many levels. You hear all sorts of views and ideas and sometimes you feel like you don't know why you believe anything you believe because everyone else has a better argument than you. Sometimes you feel like you've been doing things wrong your whole life. Sometimes you feel like your finally grasping an idea you never could before.

Then sometimes you feel like there is no way you'll ever feel confident in what you think again because clearly you don't know the facts that everyone around you seems to know. And clearly you don't know how to argue your points as good as everyone else!

Then suddenly you feel to young and inexperienced to speak for the Lord.

(By the way... I'm saying "you" but really I mean "me".. but I'm trying to make myself feel better by thinking I'm not the only one this happens too!)

Here's what I've learned post graduation:

God will send me where He wants me to go. God will give me the ability to say whatever He wants me to say. I have no reason to fear because He is with me and will defend me.

God said this to Jeremiah in a very specific context, but I believe with all my heart that those words apply to all of His children. As long as I am willing to follow God, He will lead. As long as I am willing to speak for God, He will tell me what to say. When I'm longing for Him to be with me, he will be with me. As long as I'm standing for truth, He will defend me.

It doesn't matter what I know, or how educated I'm able to make myself sound. As long as I am willing, God will use me in the way He wants to use me.

So even though I feel inadequate to speak for Him, I must pray that He will continue to reveal His will t for me and that I will be willing to accomplish whatever that will might be.

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